What's the point..

So I'm sick today. Don't feel like doing any work because the thought of sitting down in my dreary room, burning up in an uncomfortable chair trying to knock out a couple thousand words about some topic that I can't get suitable information on, seems like two steps away from death. I posted something on twitter about humanity and choice (#insomanywords) and it seems to me that I'm just a whining bitch. I know what I have to do, and I know the consequences and rewards for my actions, yet I still act and think the way I do. I ponder "is the something wrong with me?". There are millions of people, probably billions, who wake up everyday and play the hand their given and don't complain. Maybe they do complain, but they do it none the less. I do sometimes, but always in my own time, like I'm the master of my universe. Disney was shelling out a load of crap to kids for £9.99. Should kids really be allowed to dream, in the world we live in, dreaming is a liability, those billion people would love to do something else with their lives.
If given my way at this point in time, I'd want to dive head first into photography and cinema, but that won't solve any problem or quell any worries. I might know I'm good with potential to be the fucking Ali of visual storytelling, but who'll believe me. I'd still need to beg, pleade and subject myself to all sorts of requests before I finally got the freedom to do what I want to.
Mum keeps telling me, your going to have to slave before you can be the master. Some much truth to that as such is the world we live in. I think I posted here once about my view on humanity(yes, that's all that runs through my mind most days) and how someday we're going to have to make a choice. Its either we conform and walk the path that's being laid over generation due to our humanity (which is relatively easier than) or deciding to change and be unique and enduring the turmoil.

-Aj
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